Engagement Rings With A Conscience

A friend of mine recently became engaged. When I saw her to celebrate this milestone, she showed me her lovely ring. What made it so fabulous was that she chose an eco-friendly, uncut, natural diamond for her stone. Not only is it really unique and fits her personality, but she can feel good knowing that she did not select a "blood diamond."

Her ring inspired the present post on conflict-free engagement rings and wedding bands. All of the rings below were found on Etsy using the search term "conflict free engagement rings." While some are a bit pricey, most are quite affordable, another benefit of going green in your engagement ring selection!

I also chose a wide variety of stones in an array of settings. While not all of them are diamonds, there still are some "classic" engagement ring styles for the more traditional bride (e.g. large center picture).

Now aren't these something you can feel good about?!

The Bling Thing

All brides know that the first thing anyone asks you once you're engaged is "What does the ring look like?" (if you tell them over the phone), or if you happen make the announcement in person, you will experience the immediate grabbing of your left ring finger for inspection and approval.

Having experienced my own engagement and the recent engagements of my friends, plus reading about other's experiences in the world of wedding blogs, I've quickly learned that engagement rings are a big source of controversy these days.  You have the traditional brides who want the Tiffany & Co. platinum setting, the hipsters and practical brides who want a vintage and/or cruelty free bauble, and the budget minded brides who want something simple that won't break the bank. There are even some who are on board with men wearing engagement rings as well, to symbolize their equal commitment to their relationship.

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But all of this bling controversy begs the question, why have an engagement ring at all? 

When I was home for the holidays and visiting one of my best friends from college, her mother stated that she was never given an engagement ring.  In fact, neither my mother nor my MIL ever had engagement rings either.  According to my friend's mom, their generation, which pioneered the feminist movement, felt that engagement rings were completely unnecessary, and worse, a misogynistic symbol of a man buying a woman.  Why not just have two people make a consenting, adult decision to get married, and then be done with it?

"Well Mom," my friend replied, "I may not need a man to buy me a diamond, but I'd still like one."  

My friend's statement is the perfect representation of my generation's attitudes towards engagement rings.  As woman who grew up in a world where we were taught we are independent, capable, and equal to men, we don't need a ring to symbolize that we are a man's property, but most of us still like the tradition of wearing something sentimental and meaningful to us.  We are able to choose how traditional we want to be (through our engagement ring choice and other life choices) because through their rebellion of cultural norms, our mothers paved the way for us to have any opportunity and freedom we desire. 

To be honest, my husband and I took a more practical route and had already made a mutual decision to get married and even enroll in marriage classes before we made it "official" by him getting me a diamond ring. And while I love my ring and what it represents, I always found it silly that people still don't consider you really engaged until you have that ring on your finger.

What are your views on engagement rings? Do you view them as necessary in our current culture? Would you be willing to get engaged if your fiance did not present you with a diamond? 

My Jewelry: Part 1

My love all of things vintage began with my engagement ring.  My engagement was not a surprise by any means, as my fiance and I had been talking for awhile about getting married.  My fiance was also hesitant to buy a ring without any guidance from me, worrying that he would not know what I would like, other than not to buy yellow gold as it is not as flattering on me.  I knew I wanted a vintage style and loved this halo ring that I saw at Tiffany & Co:

 

But I also knew that rings from those chain stores are greatly overpriced, so my fiance and I were referred by a friend to a local jeweler by the name of Edmund D. Schmelzle & Sons in the diamond district of Chicago. 
 

Long story short, my fiance choose a round diamond, which I actually prefer, and I ended up with the above ring and couldn't be happier.  My advice to ladies and gentlemen when ring shopping is to always go to a diamond district if possible and avoid chain jewelry stores, unless you have money to waste, because the diamond that my fiance bought is actually valued at practically double what he paid!  It is also much better because these jewelers tell you where your diamonds come from, so you can wear it with a clean conscious knowing that you are not getting a cruel "blood diamond."  Most of all, I like the idea that my fiance took the time to custom design something for me.  Everytime I glance down at it I think of him and smile. 

We of course decided to go back to the same jeweler to have our wedding bands made.  I had a band made that matches my engagement ring (though the picture below is taken from Tiffany's, but it looks identical).

 

But my biggest dilemma was what to do about a necklace.  I was not feeling any of the costume jewelry that the bridal store had put on me when I tried on my dress and veil.  It was too gawdy and I wanted something more classic and simple.  Then I remembered that when my grandmother passed away, she left me her engagement ring.  It was not something I could wear the way it was, so I decided to have the jeweler take the diamond from it and turn it into a necklace.  I found a setting I liked, also from Tiffany's, and he created it using my grandmother's stone. I'm happy that I found a way to have a more green wedding by upcycling an old piece of jewelry instead of buying something new.  Even more, I love that this can not only be my "something old," but that it is also a sentimental piece of jewelry that I can wear long after my wedding day!