You may have no idea what this post is going to be about from the title. Before I clarify, let me explain that I have been super ecstatic to continue to share the professional pictures of our wedding in the form of recaps and DIY projects.
For me, choosing a wedding photographer was one of the most important decisions in the wedding planning process. I wanted a photographer with a unique style that would be able to create images of the wedding that I would consider proper art. Picking a wedding photographer was so difficult for me, because there are so many photographers out there whose work I admired. However, unfortunately for me (and my groom, who had to listen to me lament over this issue incessantly), I have expensive taste, and most of the photographers I wanted were way out of my price range.
Looking back, I can definitely say I got what I wanted in the photographer we chose,
Seth Kammueller, which is fantastic. But now that the wedding is over and I have hundreds of wedding images to obsess over, I have begun to analyze why a photographer was so important to me in the first place. At the time, I told myself that a photographer is important because other than your memories, which may fade over time, images are the only keepsake you may have from your wedding. I wanted a photographer who would capture one of the most important days of my life in a way that would preserve the memories for a lifetime. At least, that is what I told myself. And to be honest, I still feel that way, and consider photography to be art, which is an investment.
So how does any of this have anything to do with wedding blogs being the new Vogue? Well, I also think that the reason that I wanted a great photographer is due to the social pressure from wedding blogs to have a "storybook wedding." When you look at the wedding images featured on professional sites like Style Me Pretty (don't get me wrong, I'm still a big fan), everything featured looks too good to be true, like the weddings come straight out of a magazine. I recently wrote blog post about a winter wedding I saw on SMP, and as one of my readers commented, the couple are "impossibly good looking."
And you know what? My reader was totally right. That's when I realized that reading wedding blogs and only seeing picture perfect weddings featuring couples that look like models sets an unrealistic standard for the rest of us. Just like when I read Vogue or any other fashion magazine, and see page after page of malnourished models. Even though I don't want to compare myself to the women featured in the media, and with a psychology background realize that is unhealthy, I still cannot help but feel that there is something wrong with looking like a normal person. That sad thing is that I will continue to read fashion magazines and look at wedding blogs that continue to perpetrate this standard. And I'm not saying that that is necessarily a terrible thing. I still get lots of inspiration from wedding blogs, and hey, looking at pretty things is fun. But at the same time, reading these wedding blogs can subconsciously create an enormous amount of pressure to go on a diet, blow your budget, and highlight, wax, and powder your way to wedding day perfection.
I cannot tell you the number of blog posts and tweets I've read where brides state that they want to lose those "last 10 pounds" not due to vanity or wedding pressure, but because they will "feel healthier." While that may be true, brides need to stop kidding themselves and just admit that white is not a slimming color, and really you want to lose the weight so that when you walk down the aisle, guests don't secretly think "OMG she looks chubby in that dress," or so you don't look back on your photos and feel disgusted by your back cleavage. And even if you are fortunate enough to be naturally slim, there are still so many other ways in which wedding media has insidiously created self doubt in brides over everything from finding the perfect shoes to purchasing the trendiest centerpieces and favors. It just seems like we can't win.
I do not want to end on a pessimistic note. Just because there are a plethora of perfect wedding images in print, does not mean there are not alternatives. So I want to say kudos the the bridal bloggers out there who do not perpetrate these standards, who embrace diversity and uniqueness (you know who you are) and who make me feel good about myself and my wedding even though it does not resemble a staged photoshoot! I look forward to sharing the rest of my wedding photos with you :)
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