October 13, 2009

Should the Bride & Groom Exchange Gifts?

With my wedding date quickly approaching (only 2 months from yesterday :-) I have begun frantically trying to think of all the odds and ends that that still need to be done before my big day.  As I was reminiscing about a friend's wedding a couple of years ago, I remembered that the groom gave the bride a lovely gift before the ceremony.  Obviously the groom giving the bride a wedding gift is a tradition that many couples no longer adhere to, yet as it is still quite common I think it deserves some thought.  Nowadays, many couples also alter the tradition by having both the bride and the groom exchange gifts.  I've even heard of a bride who got her groom a present, and the favor was not returned!

That being said, my gut reaction to this tradition is that I do not like what it represents.  While it is of course thoughtful for the bride and/or groom to exchange gifts, I feel that doing so detracts from the fact that the ultimate gift to each other is the marriage.  Shouldn't pledging to spend the rest of your life together be enough? Conversely, I do think it would be nice for the bride and groom to write love notes (or poems, songs, or art) to each other before the wedding.  This is something that is a very inexpensive gift, yet it is a sentimental keepsake that, if thoughtfully constructed, would probably mean much more to a bride than another piece of jewelry or such. 

Letterpress card from Lucky Bee Press


  1. I'm with you. We didn't exchange gifts but we wrote things to each other. It's much more sentimental and it will be something to cherish forever :)

  2. The groom and I are being very practical about this. We are exchanging wedding rings as our Christmas gifts. For his birthday in March, I'll probably get him something he can wear at the wedding (a tie, new shirt, maybe a suit, shoes, etc.) And since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, isn't that the best monetary gift to each other on top of promising to stay together forever? We have also talked about giving each other love notes.


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